Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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