I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
