Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
