Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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