There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
