We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
