I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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