I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My vagina is officially offended.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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