Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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