I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
