Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
