I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
