nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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