Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
