no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
