Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
