I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
