Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
