4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
