Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
