would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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