i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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