So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
