My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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