i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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