i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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