im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We are two peas in an std pod
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
