we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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