I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
