I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
