Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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