he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
