Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
