Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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