i would punch a child for taco bell
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
