C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
