Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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