If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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