I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
