So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
