I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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