I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
