I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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