what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
