Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
