I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
