"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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