yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
