If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
