I CAN MOONWALK!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize