she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
