girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize