This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
