I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
