Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
