it's great music for shaving your balls
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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